11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
