idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
What a dumb baby whore.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
