I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
