Do you still have your period?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
