My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
