Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
