so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
