My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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