So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
