If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
