im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
