woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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