Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
