I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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