omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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