ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
