We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
