Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
