Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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