can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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