dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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