I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
