You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
