hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
