i jhust puked up my retainher.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
