Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
