3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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