I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
