4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize