Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
