I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize