If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
