I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Damn victory sex feels great
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
