Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
