Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize