summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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