god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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