Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
