I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
