right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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