hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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