This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
