We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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