oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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