i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize