Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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