Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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