it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
try to milk me bitch
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