I puked a lego.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
