what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
