I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
