I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
