physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
