So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
