I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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