thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
