im drinking this country out of the recession.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
