I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
