I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
