You're completely useless in the revolution.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
