i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I can't turn off my feet"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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