oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
