these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
