I'm drive I can fine osifer
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
