We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize