): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
